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"A college professor is someone who talks in other people's sleep." - Bergen Evans

"You shouldn't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive." - Van Wilder

"I've been expelled enough times for one year." - Carrie

"Kick ass, I'm not trouble." - Myself

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater." - Albert Einstein

"My face humping only cost a dollar." - Bobby

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but are easy to reach. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why you just have to be a little patient and the right guy, the one who makes the effort and takes a chance to find the good, right apple will come someday." - Unknown

"The scale is not my friend." - Kevin (Pretty Boy #2)

"There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't." - Unknown

"Alcohol and calculus don't mix...never drink and derive." - Emily

"Do we need to go find some more cops? Cuz we can go find some more cops." - Andy

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk around it, and carry on." - Winston Churchill

"Everything that can, will go wrong." - Murphy's Law

"Techies do it in the dark" - the tech crew

"We own you." - the band

"You paid for the whole seat, but you're only going to need the edge of it" - Mark "hey" Taylor

"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity - and I'm not sure about the universe." - Einstein